I like being able to offer sexy options to my men, such as adding another lovely woman to the mix for some hot threesome action. Although it’s been years since I’ve had a great duo partner, and we always had great fun, I will admit that Duo sex is hard fucking work. Not only is Duo sex hard physical work, it’s also hard on you mentally.
Usually when I’m having one on one sex, I can focus all of my sexual energy into one partner, but when you add an extra partner in the mix, that sexual energy has to be divided and shared.
Some partners don’t understand the meaning of share and divide and that’s when a threesome can quickly turn into plain ole voyeuristic sex, with a partner left watching from the sidelines
But what kills a duo session for me entirely, is a female partner who isn’t bisexual. It is imperative that all my female partners are bisexual or borderline Gay like I am. That way, we can all get something out of this arrangement.
Because God knows, I can get totally bored during a duo session if there’s not a Gay woman present to take over if the man happens to get tired. And nothing is more frustrating than not getting off especially when we all have the opportunity to do so.
The Bohemian Hooker...
I received this email on Saturday from a reader of my blog, and his views of me are so right on. Here’s what his email says:
“I read your blog with great interest
you are:
only interested in men > 35 y/o
really into Jazz
an enthusiastic traveler to interesting location like Paris
of a Bohemian Sensibility and substantial intellect
amazingly positive and upbeat
an extraordinary person it seems to me.
There are far too few people around like yourself
I hope you keep on doing what you do and being what you are and blogging about it; it gives encouragement to other like you.
Regards”
This right here is the #1 reason why I keep a blog. I love the praises!
But more than I love being praised, I loved being viewed as different, eclectic, eccentric, Bohemian-like, and intelligent. That to me is FAR more important than being viewed as sexy. Even in this industry, sexy isn't forever, but intelligence and personality is.
So when ever I’m done fucking for a living, I’ll at least have an audience that’ll still be interested in me as a person.
Thank you for that!
“I read your blog with great interest
you are:
only interested in men > 35 y/o
really into Jazz
an enthusiastic traveler to interesting location like Paris
of a Bohemian Sensibility and substantial intellect
amazingly positive and upbeat
an extraordinary person it seems to me.
There are far too few people around like yourself
I hope you keep on doing what you do and being what you are and blogging about it; it gives encouragement to other like you.
Regards”
This right here is the #1 reason why I keep a blog. I love the praises!
But more than I love being praised, I loved being viewed as different, eclectic, eccentric, Bohemian-like, and intelligent. That to me is FAR more important than being viewed as sexy. Even in this industry, sexy isn't forever, but intelligence and personality is.
So when ever I’m done fucking for a living, I’ll at least have an audience that’ll still be interested in me as a person.
Thank you for that!
Guys I'd Fuck- James Baldwin
I never really knew much about James Baldwin until I went to France Last year on a Black Paris Tour. Our tour guide was walking us through the Latin Quarter and the Montmartre district, and was giving us a great history lesson on the African American entertainers and intellectuals who moved to Paris from 1920-1950, and James Baldwin was one of those expatriates.
I knew that he was a writer and intellectual but I never knew that he moved to Paris.
When I came home from France I started to do research on him and found his background really interesting. I studied his writings and became obsessed with his work. His wrings were so poignant and carefully constructed, that he could often discuss racial and sexual matters without offending anyone.
But I believe that because he was a homosexual that he was less of a threat to white society, and his sexuality is what gave him mass appeal, especially in Europe. They LOVED him there!
I believe that if he were not homosexual and moved to France, he would have been classified as another Malcolm X, and would have become yet another victim of McCarthyism.
But anyway, James is not a conventionally attractive man, but his intellect and literary work definitely makes him sexy.
His Quote on being Homosexual
“Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.”
I knew that he was a writer and intellectual but I never knew that he moved to Paris.
When I came home from France I started to do research on him and found his background really interesting. I studied his writings and became obsessed with his work. His wrings were so poignant and carefully constructed, that he could often discuss racial and sexual matters without offending anyone.
But I believe that because he was a homosexual that he was less of a threat to white society, and his sexuality is what gave him mass appeal, especially in Europe. They LOVED him there!
I believe that if he were not homosexual and moved to France, he would have been classified as another Malcolm X, and would have become yet another victim of McCarthyism.
But anyway, James is not a conventionally attractive man, but his intellect and literary work definitely makes him sexy.
His Quote on being Homosexual
“Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.”
THC
My life in Healthcare....
I decided to step away from sex and hooking today and talk about the other side of my persona that not too many of my readers know much about.... the nurse side.
As some of you may already know, I’m an LPN by trade.
Yes, your favorite friendly neighborhood Hooker is also an LPN. But I don’t like talking much about that side of my persona, because it’s my personal life, and I try really hard to keep the Hooker and my personal life separate.
But let’s go back 7 years to when I first started in the Healthcare Industry.
I was working as a Glaucoma Pre-Tester for a private Optometry office with a verbally abusive Doctor. I remember how she would humiliate me in front of patients, calling me slow and telling me how she shouldn’t pay me. She had this incredibly mean spirit about her but she constantly played Gospel Music in her office. I was so frightened of her that I would get nauseated when she walked in the office every morning.
But my turning point came when she threw a folder at me in front of a patient that I was pre-testing. So there I was pre-testing him and trying not to cry. But the harder I tried not to cry, the faster the tears fell. And before I knew it, I was crying really hard. I just put my face in my hands and cried right in front of him. He sat there patiently in the dark pre-testing room and waited for me to finish crying. When I was done, he handed me a tissue from his pocket, and he said to me....
“Learn as much as you can from her, and then bail the fuck out on that bitch”.
The next day, I put in my 2 week notice. But being the bitch that she was, she told me to leave right then, and I did. So there I was Job less and with a toddler. Then 2 weeks later I landed a job with Clarkson Eyecare in Ellisville, Ballwin, and Town & Country. I worked in all three offices at the same time, rotating days and responsibilities. These were wealthier offices with a different kind of clientele and Doctors, but sadly nothing was better. I actually felt worse working for Clarkson Eyecare because I always felt so out of place, especially being the ONLY black in each of the offices. The Doctors were always good to me but the Patients weren’t, and I just got tired of dealing with arrogant assholes.
With no money or job, I decided to go back to school for Dental assisting, and went to one of those low income, welfare mother, ghetto schools, and we all know the schools I’m talking about; The schools that they advertise during the commercial breaks for the Maury Povich and Jerry Spinger show. I hated dental assisting because the money was a step up from poverty level, and I’m allergic to poverty.
So there I was again, applying to yet another ghetto college for my LPN license. And this time I actually found something I enjoyed.
So as I sit here and reflect on my career decisions, I can honestly say that I’m quite proud of myself. I’ve always been a Hustler by nature, so hopefully I’ll never be broke again. But making good decisions and investing my money has been my greatest achievements.
A while back, I was talking to a client of mine who’s a Pharmacist, and I was joking about going to Pharmacy School to become a rich Pharmacist like him.
His response was…
“Well you already pissed away 4 years in all those baby colleges, so I’m pretty sure an extra 6 years in a REAL college won’t kill you”
I think he’s right.
Time to start college hunting again!
Thanks Dave
As some of you may already know, I’m an LPN by trade.
Yes, your favorite friendly neighborhood Hooker is also an LPN. But I don’t like talking much about that side of my persona, because it’s my personal life, and I try really hard to keep the Hooker and my personal life separate.
But let’s go back 7 years to when I first started in the Healthcare Industry.
I was working as a Glaucoma Pre-Tester for a private Optometry office with a verbally abusive Doctor. I remember how she would humiliate me in front of patients, calling me slow and telling me how she shouldn’t pay me. She had this incredibly mean spirit about her but she constantly played Gospel Music in her office. I was so frightened of her that I would get nauseated when she walked in the office every morning.
But my turning point came when she threw a folder at me in front of a patient that I was pre-testing. So there I was pre-testing him and trying not to cry. But the harder I tried not to cry, the faster the tears fell. And before I knew it, I was crying really hard. I just put my face in my hands and cried right in front of him. He sat there patiently in the dark pre-testing room and waited for me to finish crying. When I was done, he handed me a tissue from his pocket, and he said to me....
“Learn as much as you can from her, and then bail the fuck out on that bitch”.
The next day, I put in my 2 week notice. But being the bitch that she was, she told me to leave right then, and I did. So there I was Job less and with a toddler. Then 2 weeks later I landed a job with Clarkson Eyecare in Ellisville, Ballwin, and Town & Country. I worked in all three offices at the same time, rotating days and responsibilities. These were wealthier offices with a different kind of clientele and Doctors, but sadly nothing was better. I actually felt worse working for Clarkson Eyecare because I always felt so out of place, especially being the ONLY black in each of the offices. The Doctors were always good to me but the Patients weren’t, and I just got tired of dealing with arrogant assholes.
With no money or job, I decided to go back to school for Dental assisting, and went to one of those low income, welfare mother, ghetto schools, and we all know the schools I’m talking about; The schools that they advertise during the commercial breaks for the Maury Povich and Jerry Spinger show. I hated dental assisting because the money was a step up from poverty level, and I’m allergic to poverty.
So there I was again, applying to yet another ghetto college for my LPN license. And this time I actually found something I enjoyed.
So as I sit here and reflect on my career decisions, I can honestly say that I’m quite proud of myself. I’ve always been a Hustler by nature, so hopefully I’ll never be broke again. But making good decisions and investing my money has been my greatest achievements.
A while back, I was talking to a client of mine who’s a Pharmacist, and I was joking about going to Pharmacy School to become a rich Pharmacist like him.
His response was…
“Well you already pissed away 4 years in all those baby colleges, so I’m pretty sure an extra 6 years in a REAL college won’t kill you”
I think he’s right.
Time to start college hunting again!
Thanks Dave
A woman for Sale....
A little something that I wrote for Alphanista.com
“What made you want to do this kind of work”?
If I had a round of ammo for how many times I have heard this over the past 5 years, I could overthrow a small country with an army of stiletto wearing hookers. I once felt like I had to respond with some tired cliché’ like: “It’s empowering” or “I like pleasing men”.
Then a few weeks ago I was asked that dreaded question once again, and I had what some would call a moment of shear clarity and responded “Because I can”….It was so refreshing to say those words.
Contrary to popular belief, and what the media spews to the public, Escorts no different than your average woman. They have children, a man, a home, bills, and sometimes a “regular” 9-5. They just so happen to be hookers on the side. And with the American population so quick to judge them, it’s imperative that Americans understand that a person isn’t defined by what they do for a living. If a woman were a garbage lady, would that make her garbage? If she worked for the sewer company, does that make her s*it?
In the end, we all prostitute ourselves in some sort of way. Whether you Model or dance the ballet, you are still using your body to make a profit. Back in pre-historic times, the men would show off their strengths and abilities to find wives and mates. The women would come along and accepts these men’s sexual requests in exchange for food, protection, companionship, and shelter. And this is where the idea of prostitution began…
And they don’t call it the world’s oldest profession for nothing…
I think that most females get wrapped up in the whole label thing, and being called a hooker is the worst thing you can call her. But if you take all the sugar babies, kept women, and trophy wives and put them in one big room next to your top paid hookers, and they all start to look the same…because they are!
THC
“What made you want to do this kind of work”?
If I had a round of ammo for how many times I have heard this over the past 5 years, I could overthrow a small country with an army of stiletto wearing hookers. I once felt like I had to respond with some tired cliché’ like: “It’s empowering” or “I like pleasing men”.
Then a few weeks ago I was asked that dreaded question once again, and I had what some would call a moment of shear clarity and responded “Because I can”….It was so refreshing to say those words.
Contrary to popular belief, and what the media spews to the public, Escorts no different than your average woman. They have children, a man, a home, bills, and sometimes a “regular” 9-5. They just so happen to be hookers on the side. And with the American population so quick to judge them, it’s imperative that Americans understand that a person isn’t defined by what they do for a living. If a woman were a garbage lady, would that make her garbage? If she worked for the sewer company, does that make her s*it?
In the end, we all prostitute ourselves in some sort of way. Whether you Model or dance the ballet, you are still using your body to make a profit. Back in pre-historic times, the men would show off their strengths and abilities to find wives and mates. The women would come along and accepts these men’s sexual requests in exchange for food, protection, companionship, and shelter. And this is where the idea of prostitution began…
And they don’t call it the world’s oldest profession for nothing…
I think that most females get wrapped up in the whole label thing, and being called a hooker is the worst thing you can call her. But if you take all the sugar babies, kept women, and trophy wives and put them in one big room next to your top paid hookers, and they all start to look the same…because they are!
THC
Message Boards no more...
I’ve never been much of a participator on escort message boards or forums because the thousand different types of crazy personalities just turn me off. And when I was attempting to be an active member of a few, I could feel myself becoming jaded towards the men and the escorts, and I didn’t like that feeling because I actually adored my clients and the few escort friends that I had. Most of those boards are nothing more than a gossip fest, mud slinging contest, and Miss popularity pageant. And I’m not feeling any of that type of behavior.
There was always the constant:
Escorts vs. Escorts
Hobbyist vs. Escorts
Escorts vs. Hobbyist
And the whole fuckery of it all just made me hate logging in. Then a wonderful escort pal of mine said to me; “Erika, the only way to avoid getting jaded is to avoid the message boards completely”. Just post your ads, and keep it moving.
At first the advice sounded too arrogant and self-centered, but as I look at it now, it was a genius idea.
Because of my lack of board participation, I’m pretty cool with everyone. Because of my lack of board participation, I don’t have an opinion about anyone.
And the only time I would ever participate is when someone says something REALLY interesting. Other than that, I’m a total loner.
Another thing I don’t do is go to meet-and greets unless there is a hobbyist or escort that I ADORE throwing them. But I do admit that I would REALLY LOVE to attend an Escort blogger party. So if there is one coming up, please let a sista know!
There was always the constant:
Escorts vs. Escorts
Hobbyist vs. Escorts
Escorts vs. Hobbyist
And the whole fuckery of it all just made me hate logging in. Then a wonderful escort pal of mine said to me; “Erika, the only way to avoid getting jaded is to avoid the message boards completely”. Just post your ads, and keep it moving.
At first the advice sounded too arrogant and self-centered, but as I look at it now, it was a genius idea.
Because of my lack of board participation, I’m pretty cool with everyone. Because of my lack of board participation, I don’t have an opinion about anyone.
And the only time I would ever participate is when someone says something REALLY interesting. Other than that, I’m a total loner.
Another thing I don’t do is go to meet-and greets unless there is a hobbyist or escort that I ADORE throwing them. But I do admit that I would REALLY LOVE to attend an Escort blogger party. So if there is one coming up, please let a sista know!
Good Sex and Good Music...
I admit it. The type of music that you play during sessions can determine your mood, his mood, and the way he views you. Back when I started escorting in 2004, I’d just play the Smooth Jazz or R&B stations, which usually played huge amounts of Luther Vandross.
If you listened to those stations day to day, they usually played the same songs over and over, and after while I got sick of listening to the same shit. Then one day while I was at my parents house, my dad was preparing to give away some old 40’s 50’s and 60’s Jazz music such as Miles Davis, Johnny Hartman, Ella Fitzgerald, Charlie Parker, Billie Holiday, and Thelonious Monk. I asked my dad if I could have them, but he only gave me a few which included a very charming artist from the 1920’s named Sydney Bechet.
The next day I wanted to try this classic jazz music out with my clients and see how they liked it. So I put in the first CD which was the 1929 Sidney Bechet CD, and it was a HIT with clients. They immediately reacted with a “Who’s that”? And before I knew it, we were having full fledged music conversations. Back then I was still in my 20’s so most of the guys were just amazed that I was even listening to that type of music.
And before I knew it, classic Jazz had become the only music I’d listen to. I was even invited to see Dee Dee Bridgewater in concert with a client, and we had a marvelous time listening to her seductively sing old French Standards like “La vie en rose” and “J'ai Deux Amours”
And let me tell you, good music makes for good sex, and it makes you feel seductive and longed for. It makes your clients feel a passion for you, even if all they wanted was a 15 minute blow job. After hearing that music they just had a little more respect for me. They looked at me different.
My music didn’t always go well with everybody, and sometimes I got comments like, “what’s with the old music”? But in the end, the music was loved by majority of my clients, and that made me really happy!
THC
If you listened to those stations day to day, they usually played the same songs over and over, and after while I got sick of listening to the same shit. Then one day while I was at my parents house, my dad was preparing to give away some old 40’s 50’s and 60’s Jazz music such as Miles Davis, Johnny Hartman, Ella Fitzgerald, Charlie Parker, Billie Holiday, and Thelonious Monk. I asked my dad if I could have them, but he only gave me a few which included a very charming artist from the 1920’s named Sydney Bechet.
The next day I wanted to try this classic jazz music out with my clients and see how they liked it. So I put in the first CD which was the 1929 Sidney Bechet CD, and it was a HIT with clients. They immediately reacted with a “Who’s that”? And before I knew it, we were having full fledged music conversations. Back then I was still in my 20’s so most of the guys were just amazed that I was even listening to that type of music.
And before I knew it, classic Jazz had become the only music I’d listen to. I was even invited to see Dee Dee Bridgewater in concert with a client, and we had a marvelous time listening to her seductively sing old French Standards like “La vie en rose” and “J'ai Deux Amours”
And let me tell you, good music makes for good sex, and it makes you feel seductive and longed for. It makes your clients feel a passion for you, even if all they wanted was a 15 minute blow job. After hearing that music they just had a little more respect for me. They looked at me different.
My music didn’t always go well with everybody, and sometimes I got comments like, “what’s with the old music”? But in the end, the music was loved by majority of my clients, and that made me really happy!
THC
No men under 35 please....
This is how I end all my ads.
*No men under 35 Please*
And immediately the men who don’t fit that age requirement will call and demand why.
Most of them will go on and on about how successful they are, and how they own a home, drive a BMW, and make tons of money, all which may be true, but means absolutely NOTHING to me. What these guys fail to understand, which I tried to explain for 20 minutes to some 30 year old, is that you young dudes just make me uncomfortable.
I’m usually so uncomfortable that my pussy won’t work. My pussy becomes so turned off, that it becomes dryer than the Serengeti Desert. It’s been 10 years since I had sex with anyone around my own age, and I honestly don’t miss it. To be completely honest, I’ve always had a sweet tooth for the older man, preferably around 40-60.
But don’t worry young men; once you become 35, my pussy is like the ocean.
Open, wet, and ready for you to dive in!
*No men under 35 Please*
And immediately the men who don’t fit that age requirement will call and demand why.
Most of them will go on and on about how successful they are, and how they own a home, drive a BMW, and make tons of money, all which may be true, but means absolutely NOTHING to me. What these guys fail to understand, which I tried to explain for 20 minutes to some 30 year old, is that you young dudes just make me uncomfortable.
I’m usually so uncomfortable that my pussy won’t work. My pussy becomes so turned off, that it becomes dryer than the Serengeti Desert. It’s been 10 years since I had sex with anyone around my own age, and I honestly don’t miss it. To be completely honest, I’ve always had a sweet tooth for the older man, preferably around 40-60.
But don’t worry young men; once you become 35, my pussy is like the ocean.
Open, wet, and ready for you to dive in!
White guys are straight Laced. LOL
I had one of the greatest laughs of my life yesterday with a wonderful new client.
I was creating small talk just as I normally do during sessions, trying to get a feel for his personality, and learn some of the nasty things that he likes done to him. You know - the basic hooker routine.
Finally I just came flat out and asked him in my sexy girl voice, how do you like your dick sucked? Fast, slow, medium, do you like your balls sucked, played with, and jiggled?
His response was; “I don’t know sweetheart, I’m just a white boy and we like things straight laced”.
I replied… “What”?
Then I laughed hysterically out loud.
Straight laced my ass. LOL
If I’ve learned anything being in this industry, it’s that white men are the freakiest creatures on this side of Gods Green planet. And some of the fetish requests that I get can be quite repugnant, like child sex role playing. And for the record, the youngest I go in youth role play fetishes is 16. Anything younger than 16 makes me want to call child protective services.
And YES, all of these requests were from white men. Black men are actually the straight laced and timid ones. If I bring so much as a finger towards their asses, they’d jump up and run out the door!
So no sweetheart, white guys are definitely NOT straight laced! You may be though and that's a-ok!
THC
I was creating small talk just as I normally do during sessions, trying to get a feel for his personality, and learn some of the nasty things that he likes done to him. You know - the basic hooker routine.
Finally I just came flat out and asked him in my sexy girl voice, how do you like your dick sucked? Fast, slow, medium, do you like your balls sucked, played with, and jiggled?
His response was; “I don’t know sweetheart, I’m just a white boy and we like things straight laced”.
I replied… “What”?
Then I laughed hysterically out loud.
Straight laced my ass. LOL
If I’ve learned anything being in this industry, it’s that white men are the freakiest creatures on this side of Gods Green planet. And some of the fetish requests that I get can be quite repugnant, like child sex role playing. And for the record, the youngest I go in youth role play fetishes is 16. Anything younger than 16 makes me want to call child protective services.
And YES, all of these requests were from white men. Black men are actually the straight laced and timid ones. If I bring so much as a finger towards their asses, they’d jump up and run out the door!
So no sweetheart, white guys are definitely NOT straight laced! You may be though and that's a-ok!
THC
Naughty by Nature
So while I was at Walgreen’s yesterday getting some odds and ends for my house, I noticed that the cashier was disabled with a paralysis to her right arm. It looks as if she’s had a stroke once upon a time, and it’s left her right side paralyzed. She was a short middle aged white woman with scruffy hair and a slight mumbled speech. When it was my turn to be checked out, the woman greeted me with a friendly “How are you”?
Before I knew it, we were chatting and having small talk. As she was talking to me, I began to stare at her. I wasn’t staring at her paralyzed arm, or her mumbled speech pattern, I was staring at her tits. This woman had the most scrumptious looking suckable round mounds of any woman I’ve ever seen.
I could see the outline of her bra through her uniform, and instantly got the urge to grab one. I then began to imagine what she was like in bed, not with me though, but with a man. I wondered if watching her have sex with a man would turn me on, and I got turned on just thinking about it.
Soon more people started to get in line behind me, and I had to cut my perverted fantasy short, as well as our conversation.
I got home and told the only non-adult industry friend that I have about the woman’s tits, and she yells at me and says; “I don’t wanna hear that shit, you’re a fucking pervert Erika”. She then asks me why do I always have sex on the brain.
I just shrugged my shoulders and said,”I guess I’m just naughty by nature like a man”
Then there was this awkward silence on the other side of the phone, and I could feel that she was uncomfortable. So to break the tension, I said:
"Don't worry Maryann, I think your tits are suckable too"!
We both howled with laughter, then I quickly changed the subject to fabric softner sheets, something more her speed!
Before I knew it, we were chatting and having small talk. As she was talking to me, I began to stare at her. I wasn’t staring at her paralyzed arm, or her mumbled speech pattern, I was staring at her tits. This woman had the most scrumptious looking suckable round mounds of any woman I’ve ever seen.
I could see the outline of her bra through her uniform, and instantly got the urge to grab one. I then began to imagine what she was like in bed, not with me though, but with a man. I wondered if watching her have sex with a man would turn me on, and I got turned on just thinking about it.
Soon more people started to get in line behind me, and I had to cut my perverted fantasy short, as well as our conversation.
I got home and told the only non-adult industry friend that I have about the woman’s tits, and she yells at me and says; “I don’t wanna hear that shit, you’re a fucking pervert Erika”. She then asks me why do I always have sex on the brain.
I just shrugged my shoulders and said,”I guess I’m just naughty by nature like a man”
Then there was this awkward silence on the other side of the phone, and I could feel that she was uncomfortable. So to break the tension, I said:
"Don't worry Maryann, I think your tits are suckable too"!
We both howled with laughter, then I quickly changed the subject to fabric softner sheets, something more her speed!
Decoding an Escort's ad....
Happy Labor Day you lovely people…
As I was catching up on some Board gossip and drama, I found this post, which I found hilarious and somewhat VERY true. A hobbyist complained that most escort ads are either downright false or misleading, and then he does us all the favor of giving us the ads actual meaning.
Enjoy!
BBW = fat
Voluptuous = fat
Curvy = fat
Curvaceous = fat
Thick = fat
Rubenesque = fat
Womanly = fat
Gives bra size only? = fat
Busty = either saggy or fat
Naturally busty = saggy and fat
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly
Slim = no boobs
Svelte = no boobs
Slender = no boobs
Dancer's body = no boobs
Bombshell = fake boobs
Baywatch = fake boobs
Playboy = fake boobs
Model = fake boobs
Brazilian = black
Caramel = black
Chocolate = black
Cuban = black
Ebony = black
Egyptian = black
Ethiopian = black
Exotic = black
Hawaiian = black
Mocha = black
Mulatto = black
Nubian = black
Mixed = black
Mature = old
Courtesan = old
Gracious = old
Refined = old
Elegant = old
Classic = old
Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's
Just turned 18 = mid 20's
19 = possible jailbait
21 = late 20's
28 = late 30's
Intelligent = brunette
Sorority Girl = blonde
Selective = overpriced
Exclusive = very overpriced
Classy = can't afford lingerie
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients
Upscale = snooty personality
All American = trailer trash
Princess = I have an attitude problem
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service
coed = plain looking with acne problem
girl next door = looks like the boy next door
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures...
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds
Energetic = methamphetamine addict
Down to earth = boring
College graduate = sleeps with professors
open minded = openly accepts tips
New to business = changed name
New to area = changed name and moved across town
Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your ID
Discrete = I can't spell
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me
Seeks generous gentleman = robs the elderly
Seeks generous businessmen = robs out-of-towners
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money
Available 24/7 = my pimp never sleeps
what an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information. Unless specified, you can assume:
hair color = brown
hair length = to shoulder
eye color = brown
age = mature
height = short
weight = heavy
cup size = small
measurements = large
BE FOREWARNED!!
As I was catching up on some Board gossip and drama, I found this post, which I found hilarious and somewhat VERY true. A hobbyist complained that most escort ads are either downright false or misleading, and then he does us all the favor of giving us the ads actual meaning.
Enjoy!
BBW = fat
Voluptuous = fat
Curvy = fat
Curvaceous = fat
Thick = fat
Rubenesque = fat
Womanly = fat
Gives bra size only? = fat
Busty = either saggy or fat
Naturally busty = saggy and fat
Real woman = saggy, fat and ugly
Slim = no boobs
Svelte = no boobs
Slender = no boobs
Dancer's body = no boobs
Bombshell = fake boobs
Baywatch = fake boobs
Playboy = fake boobs
Model = fake boobs
Brazilian = black
Caramel = black
Chocolate = black
Cuban = black
Ebony = black
Egyptian = black
Ethiopian = black
Exotic = black
Hawaiian = black
Mocha = black
Mulatto = black
Nubian = black
Mixed = black
Mature = old
Courtesan = old
Gracious = old
Refined = old
Elegant = old
Classic = old
Age = generally add a few years, here are some frequent exceptions:
College Student = late 20's
Just turned 18 = mid 20's
19 = possible jailbait
21 = late 20's
28 = late 30's
Intelligent = brunette
Sorority Girl = blonde
Selective = overpriced
Exclusive = very overpriced
Classy = can't afford lingerie
Freaky = doesn't shower between clients
Upscale = snooty personality
All American = trailer trash
Princess = I have an attitude problem
Las Vegas = Bellagio prices, Motel 6 service
coed = plain looking with acne problem
girl next door = looks like the boy next door
Goddess = If you believe this is me in the pictures...
Real Doll = Bubba brings you an inflatable doll, no refunds
Energetic = methamphetamine addict
Down to earth = boring
College graduate = sleeps with professors
open minded = openly accepts tips
New to business = changed name
New to area = changed name and moved across town
Up to an hour = 1 shot and she's gone.
Discreet = I check your ID
Discrete = I can't spell
Advance notice required = you'll never get a hold of me
Seeks generous gentleman = robs the elderly
Seeks generous businessmen = robs out-of-towners
Once in a lifetime experience = you won't repeat
I love what I do = I'm desperate for clients.
Satisfaction guaranteed = I guarantee I'm getting your money
Available 24/7 = my pimp never sleeps
what an ad DOESN'T say, is also a source of information. Unless specified, you can assume:
hair color = brown
hair length = to shoulder
eye color = brown
age = mature
height = short
weight = heavy
cup size = small
measurements = large
BE FOREWARNED!!
Sexually frustrated, deprived, and bored....
That describes my week…
Although my dance card has been filled to capacity all week with lovely men, most of them only wanted massages, ass play, and blow jobs. And let me tell you something- an entire week of nothing but that has left me sexually deprived and bored.
My vagina has been neglected big time, and she is NOT happy about that…
I can’t find any of my big dick regulars nowhere, and masturbating isn’t doing the job.
I’ve been tempted to make a booty-call, but sadly I’ve become the quintessential Hooker, and giving it away for free is no longer in my vocabulary, but God, am I tempted!
Oh well, It’s still early, it’s only 6:49am, and I have nice 41 year old tender coming by this afternoon. And if he asks for anything other than invading my vagina, I am going to be PISSED!!
THC
Although my dance card has been filled to capacity all week with lovely men, most of them only wanted massages, ass play, and blow jobs. And let me tell you something- an entire week of nothing but that has left me sexually deprived and bored.
My vagina has been neglected big time, and she is NOT happy about that…
I can’t find any of my big dick regulars nowhere, and masturbating isn’t doing the job.
I’ve been tempted to make a booty-call, but sadly I’ve become the quintessential Hooker, and giving it away for free is no longer in my vocabulary, but God, am I tempted!
Oh well, It’s still early, it’s only 6:49am, and I have nice 41 year old tender coming by this afternoon. And if he asks for anything other than invading my vagina, I am going to be PISSED!!
THC
Well behaved women RARELY make history...
(From the Blog Vault)
While at a friend’s house I noticed on the wall a beautiful painting of a naked woman; her body was relaxed as she laid there nude on an antique sofa, with her wrist and ankles adorned with pearls.
Although the sight of her naked body was a sight to see, it wasn’t the woman that caught my attention. It was the caption that had been painted next to her. It read:
“Well behaved women RARELY make history”
As I sat there in awe of this quote, I began to realize its significance to my life.
Here are 5 women who have earned respect, garnered praise, fought for the rights of others, stood their ground, influenced artistry, enraged nations, broken laws, sparked controversy, born under persecution, forged new trails, been labeled as whores and harlots, and shattered barriers.
Thank you ladies!
1. Mata Hari - A Dutch exotic dancer and courtesan who was executed by firing squad for espionage during World War I.
2. Josephine Baker - American expatriate entertainer and actress. She became a French citizen in 1937. Most noted as a singer, Baker also was a celebrated nude dancer in her early career. She was given the nicknames the “Bronze Venus” or the “Black Pearl”, as well as the “Creole Goddess”.
3. Mae West - American actress, playwright, screenwriter, and sex symbol. One of the more controversial stars of her day; Mae West encountered many problems including censorship.
4. Frida Kahlo - Mexican painter who has achieved great international popularity. Many of her works are self-portraits that symbolically express her own pain and sexuality.
5. Marie Antoinette - was born an Archduchess of Austria and later became Queen of France and Navarre. She would later be executed by way of Guillotine.
All of these women have one thing in common. THEY CAUSED YOU TO THINK!
Are you a well behaved woman?
Wait, what I mean to ask is: Does your life make others THINK?
If so....GOOD FOR YOU
While at a friend’s house I noticed on the wall a beautiful painting of a naked woman; her body was relaxed as she laid there nude on an antique sofa, with her wrist and ankles adorned with pearls.
Although the sight of her naked body was a sight to see, it wasn’t the woman that caught my attention. It was the caption that had been painted next to her. It read:
“Well behaved women RARELY make history”
As I sat there in awe of this quote, I began to realize its significance to my life.
Here are 5 women who have earned respect, garnered praise, fought for the rights of others, stood their ground, influenced artistry, enraged nations, broken laws, sparked controversy, born under persecution, forged new trails, been labeled as whores and harlots, and shattered barriers.
Thank you ladies!
1. Mata Hari - A Dutch exotic dancer and courtesan who was executed by firing squad for espionage during World War I.
2. Josephine Baker - American expatriate entertainer and actress. She became a French citizen in 1937. Most noted as a singer, Baker also was a celebrated nude dancer in her early career. She was given the nicknames the “Bronze Venus” or the “Black Pearl”, as well as the “Creole Goddess”.
3. Mae West - American actress, playwright, screenwriter, and sex symbol. One of the more controversial stars of her day; Mae West encountered many problems including censorship.
4. Frida Kahlo - Mexican painter who has achieved great international popularity. Many of her works are self-portraits that symbolically express her own pain and sexuality.
5. Marie Antoinette - was born an Archduchess of Austria and later became Queen of France and Navarre. She would later be executed by way of Guillotine.
All of these women have one thing in common. THEY CAUSED YOU TO THINK!
Are you a well behaved woman?
Wait, what I mean to ask is: Does your life make others THINK?
If so....GOOD FOR YOU
THC
The Lusty Chick
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